Struggling With Your Inner Critic

The inner critic is always there for the writer. The negative voice tells lies to keep you safe. It’s your brain’s defense mechanism against danger.Anxiety acts as a guardian angel. Its intentions are pure, but we all know the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

When it comes to life or death situations, your anxiety protects you. But in the trenches of day to day modern life, we rarely encounter a life or death situation that warrants such an extreme measure. Anxiety acts like a guardian, but it can cause us to not act.

Learning to reframe your anxiety is important, so it doesn’t get in the way of your writing.Because the inner critic isn’t objective, whenever you find yourself at conflict with it.

Try to imagine the good that could come out of your writing. Even if what you write today doesn’t turn into something you can use, it is an exercise toward good writing in the end. Think of yourself as an athlete who has to practice before he/she gets really good. Your inner narrator should keep you grounded without discouraging you from moving forward. Don’t silence your inner critic. Think of it as a way to go in the opposite direction of what it wants you to do.

Turn the negative self-talk into an empowering message. Every time you hear yourself thinking that you’re not good enough, that your negative traits are far too many, that it’s not worth it, that it’s not fair, you tell yourself that it’s not so.

After all, the inner critic is kind of dumb, far from objective, and even though its intentions are good, it won’t help you get to where you want to go.

Anxiety, negative self talk, self-doubt should act as triggers to turn them into something that empowers you.

Charles Bukowski almost didn’t become the writer he had always dreamt of being. He worked in a post-office until his fifties, even though he tried and often failed to earn enough from his writing so he could quit his job.

Abraham Lincoln failed time and time again. He lost his bid for State Legislature when he was 23 years old. Six years later, he lost his bid to become Speaker in the Illinois House of Representatives.

In 1848, at the age of 39, Lincoln failed to become Commissioner of the General Land Office in D.C. Ten years later, he failed to become a U.S. Senator.

Colonel Harland Sanders is another famous failure. It was not until he was 65 years old, with just $105 to his name, that he set out to sell his franchise. He was rejected by 1,009 restaurants before one agreed to his business model.

If we try, we might fail. If we give it our all, we might fail.

Sometimes I do believe the universe tests our commitment, and I often find that the people who try and fail, never, ever want to try again.

So, what’s the trick? Simple. The trick is to be. Follow your heart and intuition. There’s a dream hidden somewhere inside a drawer of your soul you rarely open.

Do or do not, there is no try.” – Yoda

This is one of those clever quotes that get passed around quite often.When it’s do or die, most people tend to do.

Sometimes we don’t have to step outside our comfort zone. Sometimes we don’t have to take massive action in order to reach a certain goal. And sometimes we just can’t do it, and the Nike approach to life is only going to frustrate us into giving up or having a mental breakdown.

Have you ever chosen not to do something because you were absolutely certain you’d fail? You were so sure you couldn’t, so you didn’t even try. It felt impossible, and the thing with impossible is that:

a. You can’t do it.

b. It’s only two letters too long.

Doing the impossible will often lead to failure. But if we aim to do the bit that’s possible, if we just give it a try, then we might surprise ourselves by becoming good enough to do what we previously thought of as impossible.

The obvious paradox is that you never know if something’s impossible or not unless you try.Our attitude always determines our altitude in life. When we think we can’t do something, there’s no reason to even try.

It’s better to try something than to give up without even attempting just because you believe that you must do it.

Edison’s famous invention of the light bulb stands testimony to just how powerful such a mindset is. The trick that allowed him to persevere until successful was that he re-framed his failures as, “finding ways that don’t work.”

You, like Edison, must try to do it before you can decide if it can or can’t be done.

Always try. At least once or twice. It’s far better than doing nothing because it can’t be done.

The ego is simply the story you tell yourself about who you are, who you wish you could be, and who you’d never want to become. That’s it. The people who make their dreams come true tell themselves a story that goes like this: they are who they are, regardless of failure, setbacks, or opposition.

They are not defined by external factors. They are fueled from within, by the very definition they have chosen for themselves, and set out to find the circumstances that allow them to make that definition even more potent by making their dream come true.

The people who fail in life, however, try, again and again, to get the validation they think they need to finally be able to call themselves “writer” or “painter” or “entrepreneur.”

As we’ve discussed previously, it doesn’t work like that. First, you must be. Then, you must try.The world changes its opinion of you the day after you do.

You will change your limiting beliefs by first understanding that you are the one writing your inner narrative. You are the storyteller, the main character, the villain, and just like in a dream, everyone you meet is a reflection of who you are or wish to become.

Rather than clinging to your limiting beliefs, giving in to your inner critic, you try to test the very fabric of your soul. Venturing into the center of your fears, you will often discover that what you were most afraid of was fear itself.

You will realize that feeling unattractive doesn’t necessarily mean you are so. If you consciously decide to go beyond what your brain tells you is the most you are capable of, you will soon begin to do the impossible: you will start writing the story you’ve always wanted to write.

We often prefer the discomfort of being less than our ideal selves because the opposite brings with it the discomfort of uncertainty.

It’s not the decision to change that counts, but actively trying to change. We cannot remake ourselves without pain, and we must go through the discomfort of building a new self.

When we direct our gaze towards the stars, and we realize that we are capable of reaching for them, we must do everything in our power to internalize and act upon this belief.

It means you’ll need to look for confirmation that you are the exact opposite of what your inner critic is telling you, and repetition is essential. You have to do it over and over again until you become emotionally aware of this new reality of who you are.

I’ll be blogging on Thursdays. Follow me here.

Thanks to the Mass Poetry Festival

Thanks to the Massachusetts Poetry Festival for sponsoring our reading of Alzheimer’s Poems.

I read with some amazing poets: Gail Thomas, Christine Jones and Eric Hyatt. It was a great experience!

I’ll be blogging on Thursdays. Follow me here.

Join Us at 11:30 am May 6 at the 2023 Massachusetts Poetry Festival in Salem

I have the pleasure of reading with Eric Hyett, as well as Gail Thomas, and Christine Jonesat this workshop called “Now As Mother: In the Presence of Loved Ones With Alzheimer’s” at 11:30 am May 6 at the 2023 Massachusetts Poetry Festival.

According to the National Institute on Aging, Alzheimer’s is a brain disorder that slowly destroys memory and thinking skills, and it’s estimated that over six million Americans struggle with dementia as a result. To be in the presence of someone with Alzheimer’s is a lesson in appreciating the very present moment because both the past and future are unattainable to those individuals inflicted. As caregivers, we try to hold this space. As poets, we turn to language to help undertand and accept. In this group reading, followed by a Q&A, we’ll read our poetry and discuss our own experiences caring for a loved with Alzheimer’s disease.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Come and join us in Salem, Massachusetts at 11:30 am on Saturday, May 6. https://masspoetryfest2023.sched.com/?utm_medium=email&utm_source=admins&utm_campaign=global-password_reset-A&utm_content=header-link

Eric Hyett to Read at the 2023 Massachusetts Poetry Festival

Eric is a wonderful poet and translator. Here is his profile: Eric Hyett is a poet and Japanese translator from Brookline, Massachusetts. His first book of poetry, “Aporia,” was published in 2022 (Lily Poetry Review Books). With Spencer Thurlow, Eric co-translated “Sonic Peace,” by contemporary Japanese female poet Kiriu Minashita, (Phoneme Media, 2017) which was shortlisted for the 2018 National Translation Award. Eric and Spencer’s award-winning translation of “Is It Poetry” by Toshiko Hirata is forthcoming from Deep Vellum Publishing in August, 2023. Eric’s poems, essays and translations are part of the dialogue in Granta, The Georgia Review, Lily Poetry Review, The Hudson Review, World Literature Today and Modern 

I have the pleasure of reading with Eric Heatt, as well as Gail Thomas, and Christine Jonesat this workshop called “Now As Mother: In the Presence of Loved Ones With Alzheimer’s” at 11:30 am at the 2023 Massachusetts Poetry Festival.

According to the National Institute on Aging, Alzheimer’s is a brain disorder that slowly destroys memory and thinking skills, and it’s estimated that over six million Americans struggle with dementia as a result. To be in the presence of someone with Alzheimer’s is a lesson in appreciating the very present moment because both the past and future are unattainable to those individuals inflicted. As caregivers, we try to hold this space. As poets, we turn to language to help undertand and accept. In this group reading, followed by a Q&A, we’ll read our poetry and discuss our own experiences caring for a loved with Alzheimer’s disease.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Come and join us in Salem, Massachusetts at 11:30 am on Saturday, May 6. https://masspoetryfest2023.sched.com/?utm_medium=email&utm_source=admins&utm_campaign=global-password_reset-A&utm_content=header-link

Anton Chekhov on Description

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” – Anton ChekhovIMG_0187

To vividly describing a place, person, or thing is to imagine it in your mind’s eye. If it exists you may prefer to look at it or a photograph. Either way, you’ll start with some scene before you without dividing it into objects or attaching any words to it. Just form an impression of the colors, textures, shapes, and feeling.

Most importantly, refrain from your impulse to name them. Just picture and observe.

Then, be careful to select the right words to convey the place. If the words that come to mind don’t seem adequate, look in a dictionary, ask around, or do some research. Be sure to keep searching until you have the closest match possible between observation and language. While it’s okay to stop short of perfection, since words and thought inevitably fail to capture perception, keep revising until you can’t think of any way to improve your description further.

Instead of allowing the meaning you want to express to decide the words, you can be seduced by alliteration, rhythm and other sonic features, or fail to escape from customary phrasing, and allow language itself to decide what it is you want to say. This is for description in fiction or nonfiction. Poetry, of course, calls out for those sonic features.

In this way your description will serve you well in your writing.

I will blog on Thursdays. Follow me here.

Book Launch by Tzivia Gover 6:30 pm January 11 at the Forbes Library, Northampton, MA on Dreams and Writing

BOOK LAUNCH EVENT AND CELEBRATION

Jan. 11, 6:30 -7:45, Forbes Library, Northampton, MA

Tap into Your Midnight Mind with Dreams and Writing

Learn how to use the science and psychology of sleep, dreams, and mindfulness to supercharge your creativity, and wake up to your best life with Tzivia Gover, Author of Dreaming on the Page: Tap into Your Midnight Mind to Supercharge Your Writing

Join us for a book launch and author talk about how anyone can benefit from the Dreaming on the Page method whether you remember your dreams or not, and whether or not you consider yourself a writer. Bring a pen and prepare to be inspired!

“In Dreaming on the Page Tzivia Gover provides a powerful set of tools to unleash your creativity, enhance your writing, and inspire your life.” Naomi Epel, author of Writers Dreaming

“With a warm, sure hand, Tzivia Gover guides readers through her ‘Dreaming on the Page’ process, serving up engaging historical and personal anecdotes alongside concrete advice and helpful writing prompts and exercises. Accessible and unfailingly encouraging, Dreaming on the Page proves that dreaming and writing are for everyone—and that when you combine the two, the result can be truly magical.”  Brooke Warner, Publisher of She Writes Press and author of Write On, Sisters!

Tzivia Gover is a certified dreamwork professional and the author of several books, including Dreaming on the Page, How to Sleep Tight Through the Night (with Lesléa Newman), and The Mindful Way to a Good Night’s Sleep, among others. Tzivia writes and dreams in western Massachusetts. Learn more at www.thirdhousemoon.com

Reading Deprivation

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

For writers, reading is a way of life. We read early and often. We read, we write. We check our media contacts, read newspapers or magazines online or in hard copy, then read a text of something similar to what we are working on in our own writing. If we stop reading, it’s deprivation.

It’s a paradox that by emptying our lives of all that text and distraction, we are actually refreshing the wellspring. By absenting ourselves from all the media, we get in touch with our inner selves, which is where all the creativity comes from. By keeping the inflow to a minimum, the outflow improves. Our true thoughts and feelings will begin to penetrate and come out in new writing, running freely. I knew a playwright who would take off his shoes and socks and stand in a running stream with a paper and pencil to literally get his flow going.

If you find not reading difficult, and many writers do, here are some suggestions:

.listen to music that has no words

.sew

.repot plants

.cook a complicated, time-consuming recipe and then

.invite friends to dinner

.watercolor

.rearrange the kitchen

.exercise

.meditate

.dance

After a number of these activities, sit down and write again. Notice any differences in your feelings or content. Your writing may benefit.

Follow me here on Thursdays.

Writers Read on October 23 in Ware, Massachusetts

There is going to be an in-person reading of prose and poetry at Grand Hall, Workshop 13 Cultural Arts and Learning Center in Ware, Massachusetts on Sunday, October 23 at 2 pm. If you’re in the area, do drop in. It’s right down Route 9, which is glorious fall now. Grand Hall is at 13 Church St. , Ware.

See Workshop13.org for more details.

In-Person Reading on 2 p.m. October 23rd at the Grand Hall, Workshop 13, Ware, Massachusetts

It has been awhile since I did an in-person reading, but if you are in Western Massachusetts on Sunday, October 23rd, I encourage you to come. The attached flyer has the details.